This is an article I wrote several years ago. It is copied from my site at: http://www.freewebs.com/suffer-the-little-children/whychildrenmisbehave.htm

Why Do Children Misbehave?
Jane Nelson: "A misbehaving child is a discouraged child."

Does this hold up to the light of God's Word? What does God say about discouragement?

Colossians 3:21 says: "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

First let us look at the Greek definitions of anger and discouraged.

Anger- anger, the natural disposition, temper, character movement or agitation of the soul, impulse, desire, any violent emotion, but esp. anger anger, wrath, indignation anger exhibited in punishment, hence used for punishment itself of punishments inflicted by magistrates

I found it interesting that this type of anger is associated with punishment. This anger is necessary to punish! Isn't this an interesting thought when considering our premise as PD parents that punishment leads to anger?

Discouragement- to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit, dismayed

Dictionary definitions for:

Discourage- To deprive of courage, dispirit, dishearten

Dispirit-To cause to lose heart or hope; weaken the spirit of; depress

Dismay-To put at a loss as from surprise, fear or disappointment; cause to lose spirit or confidence

Dishearten-To weaken the spirit or courage of

This means that any action we take with our child should promote encouragement, tend to and nurture their spirit. Any other action leads to discouragement.

What are the definitions for the words which are opposite of discourage?

Encourage-To inspire with courage, hope or confidence. 2. To help or be favorable toward.

Inspirit-To fill with spirit or life; exhilarate

Hearten-To give courage to

More Scripture for thought:

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

Yes, this Scripture even (most especially)applies to the parent/child relationship! So, if we want to encourage our child, we will put off those things of the old man, put on the things of the new man and do everything in word or deed as unto the Lord Jesus! We would not seek to anger or discourage the Lord. Therefore we must not do this to our child. Teach them; admonish them with Scripture, sing songs about Him, and let GRACE permiate your home!

So… it appears that "A MISBEHAVING CHILD IS INDEED A DISCOURAGED CHILD!"

Jane Nelson is the Author of books on Positive Discipline. You can find her books at Amazon or any other major bookstore. Although I do not agree with everything Jane Nelson says, I find a lot of what she has to say very helpful.

Here are some other helpful resources on this topic:

http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/202435/why-do-children-misbehave

http://www.enotalone.com/article/4471.html

http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles_teacher/PositiveTimeOut.html

Don't I look like the Queen of the Castle here?



 
I think I have finally figured out the answer to overcoming my blogger's block and just in time for the new year!  I can't seem to write on a personal level while staring at a glaring screen with light emanating and blinding my brain. There is just something different about the feel of a smooth, yellow, #2 pencil in my hand. The pencil becomes an extension of me and my soul flows onto the paper. The monitor is so hardwarish (is that a word.. well it is now), so sterile.

Lots of thoughts going through my mind. Some I can share with you and some I cannot. I cannot share those items or issues which would cause those in my real life discomfort or an awkward sense of wonderment at why in the world I would share particular circumstances with my virtual audience. Sometimes I wish we did not live in such an imperfect world, so I could share certain things with the motive of helping someone else. Then again, if the world were perfect, you would not need my help.  *shrug*


I used to think about how other people wove tangled webs. Now I look at the tapestry of my own life and see some pretty tangled webs as well.  Some were due to circumstances over which I had no control, while other were spun by me.  Webs such as infertility, adoption, failed adoption, marriage, divorce, remarriage, extended family feuds and so many others.

2009 was an interesting year. We moved to a bigger home; I started working a second job as a caretaker for a child with cerebral palsy; my 18 year old son left home for 5 months; my 17 year old daughter left home for 2 months; my husband and I decided not to co-habitate for now.  So now I am a married single mom to my 3 and he is a married single dad to his 3.

Side View of My 2009 Home

  

People think we are off our rockers, but that is ok. We figure 6 happy kids in 2 different houses is better than 6 stressed-out kids who will wind up hating each other and us someday. Blending a family is not always the Brady Bunch ideal you know? We gave it 5 years and we still love each other, but we also love our kids enough to not force them to live with people they didn't ask to live with, nor prefer to live with. Unlike others, we just decided to do something a bit unorthodox instead of playing the game or putting on the "one big happy family" front.  Not saying all seemingly happy blended families are putting on a front - so don't even send me nasty email  go there.



I have been working from home for about 4.5 years. I got used to running around the house in my PJ's, lifeless hair, no make-up and fingernails bit down to the quick. Recently I decided to put a stop to the "dowdy Joan" persona and wake up my inner princess.  The first thing I did was to get my hair cut and colored to the tune of $80.00.  I have done that twice now.  I also got a pedicure and fake nails all in one day for $35.00.  Then, I bought a whole new wardrobe for about $200.00.  Now I know some of you can drop that much on one outfit, but I bought 5 outfits with that.  Don't good sales rock?  So, I spent $335 on myself and in December to boot!  Did I feel guilty? Yep!  Do I now? Somehow I am finding it within myself to forgive and move on as I just accept that I am the QUEEN OF THIS CASTLE and deserve it!

Me with My New Dew



Now.. the Queen shall purchase some more #2 pencils and a pretty new electric pencil sharpener so that they are fit for the "Royal Scribe." 

Warning: details of a monumental task ahead! Today... Are you ready for this?  We... we....we combined cleaning out our shed with Christmas decorating. There! I said it! Whew! I hope you don't think I am crazy?

The holiday season is the perfect time to de-clutter; especially if you are going to entertain family at your house (which we are this year). Some of the stuff we went through today had been packed for 3 or 4 years or more. When I say monumental task, this is no understatement. We had enough daylight to get about halfway through the task today.

We divided stuff up as follows:

1. Donation – Given to individuals or taken to Goodwill ASAP

2. Trash – Already taken to a dumpster

3. Keep – Brought in the house and put away immediately

4. Store – Try to keep this to a minimum and put back in shed in a labeled and organized manner

So far, we trashed and donated more than we kept or stored, which is the goal! It is going to feel so great to get all of the decluttering done. Decluttering your physical space does something for your emotional and spiritual health as well. It is freeing and makes life seem less burdensome. It is not always “there” just hanging over your head as some project you are procrastinating about continuously and it also makes it a lot easier to function on a day to day basis.

I got some tips from a book called “The Queen of Clean Conquers Clutter.”

This book is awesome. The Queen of Clean teaches you how to be a clean QUEEN

Q- Question

U- Unpack

E- Evaluate

E- Eliminate

N-Neaten UP

This book is for even the most devoted pack rat. She shows you how to start small and then eventually you will want to tackle every nook and cranny in your home.

There was a time that I would have waited to start that shed knowing I could not finish it in one day. However, thanks to the Queen of Clean, I know it is better to get started and get some of it done and then do the rest later. :D

I will keep you up to date on my progress.  More to Come....