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Friday, 09 October 2009

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We're Not Gonna Take It
By Twisted Sister
see related
I'm Not Gonna Take It Anymore!

When women reach their mid 40's to 50's, then not only their enemies, but their friends and family members often begin to refer to them as "bi***es." Some refer to it by it's technical name "peri-menopause" or "menopause." I like to refer to it as a time of special enlightenment! A gift straight from God.

As women, we are nurturers by nature. We give and give and give and we don't even notice how much we are giving or sacrificing because it just comes so natural to us (if we are normal). However, there comes a time when our mental health, physical health, spiritual health and pocketbook start to be effected in a very negative way if we continue to stretch ourselves beyond our boundaries. We cave to our husband, we cave to the kids, we cave to friends, we cave to family members, we cave to bosses (if we are not fortunate enough to be stay at home moms) and we even cave to people we can't stand sometimes!

I am tired of always caving to what everyone else wants, takes or expects from me. I am only one woman. I am not Wonder Woman. I don't even have super powers. I don't have a money tree in my back yard. I am frankly a bit tired. I have been working 60 hours a week+ for the past 5 years and I am going to set some serious boundaries on my time, my finances, my energy and anything else that needs to have a boundary line put around it.

People are not going to like it. They are going to call me "selfish" and a "bi**h" and "mean" and no telling what else. I just really don't care anymore. I can only do so much for myself and so many others and that is as much I am willing to do. Most of all, if I am pleasing God with my actions... I don't really care what anyone else thinks and I promise it is not just because I happen to be having a PMS moment right now... if indeed I am.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Growing Up is Hard (for Mom) to Do

I am experiencing some firsts this year. First of all, my oldest child turned the big 1-8 last Dec. 20th. He left home in May. Yep! He got on a plane and flew 1000 miles away from me. Here he is at the airport ....

At the time, I thought it was not so bad because, after all, he was going to live with my parents and work for my dad. I felt a mixture of emotions that day that he got on the plane (flying for the first time alone.) I felt apprehension, excitement, fear, happiness, sadness, sentimental, like time had flown by, like time had crept by, like it was the truly the beginning of mid life, confusion and most of all a desire to pray for God's protection over him.

However, he has now decided to move out of my parents home and he is staying with a friend and trying to get on his own. Now all of the emotions I felt that day in May are returning, only to a much greater degree. The world can be a scary place you know? It can also be a great place, an exciting place.. with all of the options and possiblities... but there are lions and tigers and bears... (oh my).

To top it all off.. he is ill. We don't know what is wrong with him yet. I want to run to him and be by his side, but he wants to be a man and does not necessarily want or need mommy there holding his hand (just yet anyway).

Then, I think back to what it was like when I was in his stage of life. The idealism, the confusion, the anticipation, the need for independence, the options that were open to me and I connect with what HE must be feeling.

I never thought I would be one of those sappy women who would experience "empty nest syndrome." No "syndromes" for me, I thought. But now that my 2nd child has graduated from high school at 16 this past April and my third is getting ready to graduate at 17.5 in December (some of my children were adopted so they are closer in age than normal), a little bit of the syndromatic feeling is starting to set in.

Seven years from now, when I am 51 and the last one has graduated, maybe .. just maybe, I will be used to this and I will actually be like I thought I would be to begin with... happy for some time to pursue the things I enjoy for a change? Nah.. I will probably just get more sappy with each one!

Friday, 14 August 2009

Why Haven't I been Posting?

I have not posted here much in the past several months. Mainly it has been due to writer's block. I have had terrible writer's block. I am open to any and all suggestions as to how to rid myself of this malady and start the creative juices flowing again. What to write about? HMMM? It seems my brain is filled with things to say, but I just can't seem to organize my thoughts and convey them.

Thanks... Joan

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Conditional vs. Eternal Salvation

I have not posted here in quite some time. However, this is where I always post when I am in the mood to write something which is entirely personal. I see this blog as MY place where I can speak my heart and it is always ok.

This particular post is about a paradigm shift that took place in my mind and heart back in 1989. From the time I was born in 1965 until 1989, I had been part of a denomination that believed in conditional salvation. I loved the people of this particular denomination dearly (still do!) and considered them my family. The thought of not being part of them was almost like cutting off my right arm.

In 1989, I moved to Germany and there was no church of my particular denomination where we lived in Germany. I began attending a church with similar beliefs to my own, but they did not believe salvation was conditional. I struggled for some time and then the pastor asked if he could come over and study with my now ex husband and I about this issue. We were pretty firm in our beliefs, so we heartily agreed. I think we figured we would show him the "truth" instead of the other way around. I was pretty prideful of the fact that "I" had been to Bible College and this pastor had not. We had over 80 Scriptures which supported our point of view which is traditionally known as an Arminian viewpoint on the issue. He came for many weeks and encouraged us to share all of our Scripture first. After we had exhausted our references, he shared his. After two months of reading my Bible for 8 to 10 hours a day and studying the issue in earnest, I learned that indeed my salvation was not "conditional" but eternal. What I am about to share below is from my journal which I kept at that time.

My salvation is eternally secure because:

A. I am God's daughter (Romans 8:15, Ephesians 1:5)
B. I am of the circumcision not made with hands. (Colossians 2: 11-15)
C. Christ has forgiven all of my sins (Colossians 2: 13-14)
D. God keeps me (II Timothy 1:2) and He gives me strength to keep myself (John 17:11)
E. No man (including myself) can take me out of His hand. (John 10:28 to 29)
F. Sin has no dominion over me. (Romans 6:14)
G. I am sealed by the Holy Spirit (II Corinthians 1:22, Ephesians 1:13 and 4:30)
H. The Holy Spirit indwelled me from the moment of salvation. (Romans 5:5, John 14:26)
I. I am sanctified by the Holy Spirit. (I Peter 1:12, II Thessalonians 2:13)
J. I have been promised an inheritance. (Ephesians 1:11-14)
K. I have been promised eternal life. (Romans 6:22-23, John 3:16, I John 5:13)
L. Christ is in the Father, I am in Him and He is in me. (John 14:20, Galatians 2:20)
M. Heaven does not hold equal rewards for all believers. (Romans 14:13, Hebrews 6:13-17)
N. It is not possible for me to lose my salvation. (Hebrews 6:4-6, 18-20, Hebrews 12:28 and Romans 9:1-3)
O. Christ's righteousness is imputed to me. (Romans 6:24-25, Romans 5:19, II Corinthians 5:21)
P. Christ (the seed) is in me. (I John 3:9)
Q. He will never leave me nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5)
R. I am Christ's bride. (Romans 7:4)
S. God knows I am His (II Timothy 2:19)
T. I am saved by God, not of myself. (John 1:13)
U. I am a new creature. (II Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:24, Colossians 3:9-10)
V. I am a servant of righteousness. (Romans 6:18-19)
W. I am no longer condemned. (Romans 8:19)
X. Nothing can keep me from Christ's love. (Romans 8:38-39)
Y. I have been reconciled to God. (Romans 5:10-11 and Romans 5:21)
Z. I am already part of God's household. (Ephesians 2:10)
AA. Old things are passed away. (II Corinthians 5:17)

Some people say "but if you believe you are "once saved, always saved" you believe a person can just do what they want and be saved right?" The answer to this is absolutely NOT. I have found at least 10 consequences for the believer who is astray and none of them are pleasant. I will present that in my next post.